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Why Do People Get Divorced - Musings from a Divorce Attorney - Part I - The Divorced Friends - When Couples Simply Grow Apart

Dec 3, 2015 @ 02:38 PM — by Michael Green

In my practice I am often asked why I think people generally get divorced.  Most want to know based on what people have told me that come for a divorce.  Most people have very common assumptions as to why people get divorced.  I suppose you could say divorce is as complex or even more so as why people fall in love, why people get married.  Obviously, there are often psychological, emotional, financial and other reasons for marriage, well, so there are for divorce.  So, what actually causes divorce. What causes two people to go through the usually very difficult process, both emotionally and financially, of a divorce.  What follows is not legal advice, but merely an opinion based on many years of experience.

First, for a minority, divorce seems to be a very good thing, meaning, both people are amicable, they both want it, it makes them happier and sometimes, but not always, any children they have are happier because their parents are happier with each other.  Yes, it does seem to be a minority.  As to what causes these people to get divorced, generally, a recognition that they have grown apart, want to do different things with the rest of their lives, but recognize they have children together and want to maintain a good relationship for the children as well.  Very often, this group of people appear to be friends and wish to keep the friendship, are already comfortable with the other party having a significant other.  There just isn't any real animosity, other than when you bring up certain characteristic traits of one or the other that caused them to grow apart.  It could be little things, or big things, regardless it was enough for them to recognize they didn't want to stay together.  It doesn't appear that there is romantic love anymore but the parties do appear to be genuine friends and genuinely do care for each other.  I think for these individuals, they will always continue to be in each other's lives, both with their children and to help each other as deep, long time friends would through any life crisis.  TO BE CONTINUED....

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